If you have any questions about my work / products / orders, please check out the FAQ’s first.


Why do you work in black and white?

Because I’m being held at gun point! Well, actually, it’s more because colours are a very subjective thing when it comes to art. I want people to enjoy the image or message in my illustrations rather than focussing on whether they like a particular tone of blue I’ve used.

So no colour work at all?

Not really, no. If the project was for something really fun, I’d stretch to a single/two colour illustration…but it would have to be really fun!

How much would it cost for you to illustrate something for me/my project?

The short answer is that it totally depends on the project. The best thing to do is fill in the contact form and let me know what you’d like, what it’s for, a budget (if you have one), and if there’s any kind of deadline. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can to talk it over further. Then, the fun bit can start!

Will you work for free?

If you can give me a load of money for free so I can pay my bills and eat, I’m sure we can work something out.

What do you look like?

A human man. I adopt this form in order to communicate with your species.

Where can I buy some of your work?

All of my work available to buy can be found by following the link to my Shop, so go and treat yourself…or someone else!

Can we stock your items in our shop?

You most certainly can! I only sell items wholesale, so if this works for you, just fill out the contact form to tell me a bit about your shop and which items you’d like to stock.

Could we interview or feature you in our magazine / blog / website?

Why yes, yes you can! All you need to do is send me some details or questions using the contact form and I’ll get in touch as soon as I can.

Do you want to be part of of our exhibition / show?

Hell yeah I would! Drop me an email using the contact form with details about it and we’ll go from there.

Have you ever killed a man?

Yes…but he was made of doughnuts and I was dreaming. Does that count?

Can you do the robot?

You bet your ass I can! Watch…

Good, huh?

Orders & Returns

Order Payment

This store uses PayPal for payments, and PayPal automatically encrypts your confidential information in transit from your computer to ours using the Secure Sockets Layer protocol (SSL) with an encryption key length of 128-bits (the highest level commercially available).


All orders will be processed and shipped within 7 working days of purchase. Orders received after 12pm GMT will be processed the next business day. We do not ship on SaturdaySunday or on any UK public holidays. Please allow 28 days for the delivery on any order to allow for any postal delays.

All orders are shipped using a signed for service as standard. Please ensure to select a postal address that will have someone available to accept any orders sent to that address.

Please be sure to provide the correct postal address on payment of any goods. Alternative Aesthetics will not be responsible for incorrect deliveries as a result of you providing an incorrect postal address.

Alternative Aesthetics reserves the right to charge the full shipping fee applicable to resend any item that is returned to us as a result of the customer not being able to receive the delivery for any reason.

Similar items will, where applicable, be combined for shipping. Order items are combined using an automated system which calculates shipping combinations based on an item’s size/dimensions and weight.

All shipping rates are calculated automatically using the current Royal Mail pricing guide. Shipping costs may vary slightly from what is charged and the difference is non-refundable. The live rates fluctuate and we have no control of how they adjust. No handling fees are charged by Alternative Aesthetics.

Alternative Aesthetics are not responsible for any lost, stolen, or damaged packages.

Order Cancellations

Under the United Kingdom’s Distance Selling Regulations you have the right to cancel your order for any item purchased from Alternative Aesthetics, for a full refund.

You may cancel the order for any reason up to the point of dispatch and any payments made by the Buyer shall be refunded in full within 28 days.

Order Cancellations must be made in writing using the form on our Contact Page. Ensure that the subject field contains the title of ‘Order Cancellation’, and that you include your full name and order number in the message field.

Returns Policy

We appreciate your business and want you to be happy with your order. We conduct a thorough quality check on all items before shipping. In the unlikely event of your order containing manufacturing faults, you can return it for a full refund (minus the original shipping costs). Exchanges are available on clothing items for alternate sizes, or garments of the same value. No exchanges or refunds are available on sale items or web exclusives. Artworks and Accessories are non returnable or exchangeable due to their limited availability and/or for hygiene reasons.

You must email Alternative Aesthetics using the Contact Page within 7 working days of receiving your order to notify us of returns and/or exchanges prior to shipping anything back to us. We shall send instructions to follow for the return of your items.

Goods will only be accepted for exchange or return if they are returned within 28 days of delivery, unless we have notified you otherwise.

All items must be returned in their original form (not worn, altered, washed) and with all relevant swing tags, labeling, branding and any accompanying marketing material specific to the item. We reserve the right to refuse an exchange if the items have any signs of wear, alterations, misuse or damage.

All items for exchange or return are the Customer’s responsibility until it reaches us. Therefore, for your own protection we recommend that you send the parcel using a ‘Signed for’ delivery service. Alternative Aesthetics will not be held accountable for any lost packages.

The costs of returning any item to Alternative Aesthetics is the Customer’s responsibility.

The cost of shipping any replacement item as part of an exchange, will be payable by the customer and the replacement item will not be sent until postage fee is paid in full.

Promotional Discount Codes

Promotional discount codes are published from time to time. All promotional discounts will be valid for one use only and only one code may be used at a time, not in conjunction with any other offers unless advertised in the promotion description. There is no cash or other alternative product available.

Customer Services

Business Hours: Monday – Friday10:00am – 5:00pm GMT
*Please allow 24 business hours for a response